Parents/Teachers/ Community Builders
How does one talk to a child about the “situation?” How should one react when they come to school acting out their fears and trauma, when people in their families have been killed or they fear for a parent serving in the army reserves? How should one answer their questions?
Parents and teachers alike have to deal with these questions, and the answers do not come naturally. In fact, parents have fears, anxieties and distrusts of their own, even as they send their children to a binational school.
The Parents Community program in the school has begun to deal with the issues around this war and the problems it presents to those who work for peace. Among other things, it is important not just to have the parents support the school, but to have parents and teachers on the same page when it comes to talking with their children about the atrocities and bloodshed, as well as the good people on both sides who want peace. The school staff, who support both children and their families found they needed the support built into this program, and the parents need the support and strength of a community, as well.
The program started with dialogue sessions led by trained facilitators. The teachers have been participating in dialogue sessions for several years, and they are already familiar with the format in which discussion takes place in uni-national and bi-national groups, alternately. The parents were new to this format, and they immediately found themselves in situations in which they could express themselves freely as Jews or Arabs, and then had to think and listen to the other side before bringing their issues out in the open.
These first sessions took place by Zoom, as the school and all public institutions closed at the beginning of the war.
The Zoom sessions continued, with two sessions with experts in child trauma and children’s education. These focused on such subjects as helping children express their fears and adjusting answers to an appropriate level for the child’s age.
But the real test of the parent’s commitment to the school came in December, as each class planned its party. “The parents really came through,” said school principal Neama Abo Delu. “Almost all the Arab and Jewish parents pitched in to give the kids a party; their families all came, and they thanked me and told me how wonderful the parties were for them. It was a great feeling.”
She feels that the talks with professionals and getting pointers in speaking with children about the situation have had a very positive impact. “I see the children feel comfortable coming up to me and asking to talk about what they are feeling or if they have questions,” she says. That comes from ensuring the children have an open atmosphere in which they feel safe to talk about these issues. The staff do not talk with them about politics, she points out, but they will steer a child who asks, for example, whether all Arabs support Hamas, in the right direction.
The Parents Community team is planning further talks with experts and further activities, following the success of the previous ones.